Selfish
by ThereIsOnlyZuul
Summary: Tohru has been crying every night, all night and it's breaking Kyo's heart. When he goes to see why, he discovers the only way to get her to stop crying is to be selfless in a selfish way.


I've been re-reading Fruits Basket like a maniac recently and I'm right in the area of when Kyo and Tohru start to express feelings for each other. I'm on volume 16 right now - so much drama/angst! Even though I know everything ends up okay, it hurts my heart so much to see them not together! Hence, I wrote this fanfiction to make myself feel better. I hope you enjoy it, I do believe the ending I wrote is the cutest thing I've ever put down on paper :D

Cheers!

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Kyo could hear her crying from inside her room. The thin paper of the sliding door didn't muffle much and he could make out every sob, every intake of shaking breath, every shuffle of her willowy body tossing and turning in her bed.

Tohru had been crying a lot recently. She always had a smile on her face during the day, but when she excused herself and retreated to the privacy of her bedroom, the smile slipped away to be replaced by a fountain of tears.

It broke Kyo's heart. Every night he lay in bed awake and strained his ears for the slightest sound of Tohru's sadness. He didn't know why he did it: the sound was so faint he could just close his eyes and mask it with the sound of his own breathing. He could sleep through it–everyone else in the house does.

But he didn't.

He couldn't.

He held his breath and listened and, when he heard it, he let that raw sadness–a sadness that he himself has known all his life–break his heart all over again.

As he listened tonight, his heart twisted itself in his chest until he thought it would kill him. He'd listened to this grief for many nights now and had done nothing to help stop it. In the morning, sitting at the kitchen table, he'd stare at Tohru as she made breakfast. She did it with a smile on her beautiful face: no evidence of the grief that was making her cry all night long. The others didn't know anything was wrong–why would they? They couldn't hear her cry. All they saw was the always selfless, always happy, always caring Tohru that they'd come to expect.

Only Kyo knew the truth.

And knowing that truth was tearing him apart inside.

He had to stop it: the crying, the guilt, the pain. When Tohru had excused herself for bed tonight, Kyo did too. He went to his bedroom and sit in the dark with his ear pressed to the wall. He knew she wouldn't start crying–wouldn't let herself go–until she knew no one would hear her and it was hours before Yuki and Shigure went to bed but Kyo sat still and patient and posed to attack, so-to-speak.

It was the spirit of the cat in him. He knew no other way to deal with all this than to ambush Tohru. It may not be the kindest thing to do, to sneak up on her and catch her while crying, but it was going to be the only way to get her to admit that she'd been crying at all. If Kyo tried during the daylight, she'd just smile and laugh and say that he must have been having a dream because what did she have to cry about? He could argue with her until he was blue in the face, but it would be no good. She'd stubbornly hide her feelings until he was frustrated and reeling and doubting if it really had happened at all.

Kyo took a deep breath and placed his hands upon the frame of the door. He slid it openly silently–just enough for him to get his lithe form into the room–and closed it again behind him. Tohru continued to quietly weep: he hadn't been seen or heard.

"Why are you crying?"

Tohru gasped loudly. She sat up and spun towards the door. Her room was lit up just enough from the moon light shining through the window for Tohru to see that it was Kyo who stood a few feet from her bed.

"Kyo! What are you doing here?"

"I heard you crying."

"I wasn't–"

"Don't lie to me, Tohru. Why were you crying?" He moved closer to the bed intending to sit down on the edge, but when he saw Tohru's quivering shoulders and tear streaked face, he stopped short. All he wanted to do was hold her but the Sohma curse wouldn't allow that, so why cause both of them more heartache by trying?

"I'm sorry if I woke you," Tohru muttered quietly. She must have realized trying to deny her sadness wasn't going to work. "It won't happen again."

"It's been happening all week," Kyo said with a sigh. He was fighting back his frustration. Why didn't she just tell him what was bothering her? Why hide behind apologizes and downplay her own feelings? Doesn't she trust him yet? Doesn't she want help? "Tell me what's wrong, Tohru. Please."

Tohru looked up at Kyo with fresh tears in her eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, but only ragged gasps of air came out. She dropped her face into her hands as her shoulders shook and fresh sobs escaped her.

Kyo couldn't stand to see her like this. This perfect girl shouldn't ever have to feel like this. Any one that's ever met Tohru should be keeping her happy–giving into her every whim to please her because nothing on Earth was as wonderful as seeing her smile!

"Tohru, please stop crying…" Kyo dropped onto the bed and took Tohru's slender, shaking hand in his own. "Tell me what I need to do to stop your tears? What do you want Tohru?"

Tohru looked up from her hands to gaze at Kyo. She swallowed back her tears before mumbling her reply: "I want Kyo to be happy." She broke down into tears once more as she saw the look of confusion that crossed Kyo's face.

"You want me to be happy? What makes you think I'm not?" Kyo said softly as he held her hand tighter.

"The cat doesn't get to be happy. He gets left out over and over again! And after school is finished…"

"What about after school has finished?"

Tohru's eyes spilled more tears as she gathered her courage. She had known that Kyo was to be confined at the Sohma house after school for a while, but he didn't know that she knew. She didn't want to say anything because she didn't want to remind him of all the sadness he was going to have to endure. She'd been crying about it for days now; thinking about Kyo locked away from the world for the rest of his life… Kyo locked away from _her_ for the rest of their lives… and now she'd been clumsy enough about it that Kyo himself has confronted her about it.

There was very little to lose now, why not confined in Kyo?

"You'll be locked away!" Tohru exclaimed with fresh tears. "Oh Kyo–I've been thinking about how you'll be locked away and I can't stop crying for you!"

Kyo was completely taken aback. Tohru knew about the cat's confinement? Who had told her? Yuki? Shigure? God damn it, was it Akito? Was the bastard trying to ruin his life all over again by hurting Tohru?

"Tohru… I don't know how you found out about that but… it's nothing to worry about… at least not for you. You don't have to cry over it."

"But…" Tohru choked back more tears as she thought about what Kyo was saying. Was he really not upset about his impending future as a prisoner? Maybe he was at peace with it. After all, he'd known all his life what was going to happen to him, he hadn't discovered it just a few weeks ago like Tohru had. He was the cat. Next to everyone else in the Sohma family, he was twice as cursed because of that. That didn't mean that he should be miserable though… did it?

"No!" Tohru exclaimed. Her eyes blazed, her tears suddenly evaporated. Just because Kyo was the cat didn't mean that he deserved to be miserable. He didn't deserve to be a prisoner, or treated like a freak! He's Tohru's friend… she wanted him to be even more… "What does Kyo want?"

"Huh?" Kyo asked, confused as to where this conversation had gone.

"You asked me what I want, but that's not important. What Kyo wants is important!"

Kyo bit back a curse _and_ a smile. There she goes with her self-destructive selflessness again. Here she was crying her eyes out over him and when he wants to know what to do to make it better, she turns the tables to see if there's anything she can do to make him happy!

"You want to know what I want?" Kyo asked, a gentle smile crossing his lips. Tohru shook her head determinedly as she tucked her knees under herself. She sat closer to Kyo, posed to jump up and fulfil what ever it was that he wanted. "Tohru, I want you to stop crying."

"But–" Kyo held up his hand to stop Tohru from continuing. Her selflessness was beginning to rub off on him and he'd use it to make Tohru herself be selfish!

"I want you to stop crying. But not because it will make me happy. I want you to do it to make yourself happy. You're too generous–generous to a detrimental level! When you almost missed the class trip because you spent all your money on Valentine's day chocolates for the Sohma family I could have smacked you over the head! Why do these things that hurt yourself? You just give and give until there's nothing left of yourself. And who are the people you keep giving too? The Sohma's–the Goddamn Sohmas! We've taken enough from you, Tohru. It's time you take something from us."

Tohru seemed confused by what Kyo was suggesting.

"Kyo… I can't take from the Sohmas. This house and living here–"

"Take more!"

"I can't!"

Kyo was cracking under his frustration. Sooner rather than later he was going to snap and that certainly wasn't going to help anything. He needed to say this so she would understand. "It was Yuki's idea you live here, right?"

"Yes," Tohru replied hesitantly, fearing she was being led into a trap.

"And it's Shigure's house, yeah?"

"Uh-huh."

"What about me then? You feel you've taken enough from the other Sohmas, but you've never taken anything from me."

Tohru let her eyes fall. She was ashamed to have all this brought to light. It was true that she tip-toed around Kyo, but what else could she do? She didn't want to tread on his toes and get him angry–it hurt her when he was angry. She didn't want to take anything from him because, being born the cat, the world had already taken so much.

Kyo put his hand under Tohru's chin and lifted her head up. Their eyes met and suddenly Tohru didn't feel so bad. It seemed like Kyo already knew what she was thinking and he wasn't mad about it. He just… _understood_.

"Tohru, please. For me, be selfish. Take what you will. Do what will make you happy."

Tohru was silent for a moment as she thought about what Kyo had said. She closed her eyes for a long while–long enough for Kyo to believe that she'd passed out from the exhaustion of all her tears. Wouldn't that be so Tohru–to pass out just as they actually made a bit of headway with their feelings! But as she sat with her eyes closed, she continued to squeeze Kyo's hand and a smile spread over her face.

"I can do what ever I like to make myself happy?"

"Anything at all," Kyo replied with a smile.

"Okay. I've decided what I want!" Tohru grabbed Kyo's shoulders and pulled him towards her. She wrapped her slender arms around Kyo's chest and hugged him tightly. He transformed after only a second, but that second–that second of Tohru's head against his chest, of his weight on top of her in her bed, of her arms wrapped as tightly as she could around him–was the most blissful second that either of them had ever had before.

Tohru released Kyo from the hug more quickly than he hoped she would. Her body was mostly limp–everything that had just been said, plus the nights upon nights of crying–the exhaustion of it all had caught up to her.

Kyo didn't gather up his clothes and leave though. He strode towards her and nuzzled his head to her stomach. He even purred: a genuine purr from genuine feelings of affection, not just a biological or unconscious by-product of the cat spirit within him.

Tohru smiled sleepily. She didn't say word. There would be no more need for words tonight. She lay back down in her bed and grabbed Kyo. She wrapped him up in her arms, and pulled the blankets up over them. Being in Tohru's arms, listening to her peaceful breathing and her quieting heartbeat as she quickly drifted off to sleep… it was as close to heaven as Kyo thought he was ever likely to get. Her selfishness made her treat him like he was a common housecat, but, surprisingly, it was fine by him.

Tohru being selfish suited his own selfish needs just right.


End file.
